venus as a boy

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 22:14:40 GMT

i have a new livejournal.
if you want to be added to it, comment here or there.
i am still contemplating on making it friends only, but most likely not. i have added quite a few people already whom i hope will add me back. if not, i'll take you off.

twurrrk

goodbye to sexinlondon.

don't assume this is about you...

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:30:47 GMT

I really am in the worst mood right now. I have never felt this way before. People really just don't give a shit about anything anymore. I have one friend who i know has a heart and cares about people other than herself, and i rarely get to see her. I can't wait to get out of here and just leave it all behind, all of these cold hearted people that just come around to "hang out". I'm sick of that, i'm sick of the two-faced people who say one thing to one person and another thing to another person. It's bullshit and i really don't care to deal with it anymore. I know that it will be everywhere in life, but i also know that i can meet people to have friendships with that will last forever.

Some people can really get you bummed out and they don't know how much they can hurt you from simple things that they don't pay attention too. Friends are meant to be around to make you each happy, to actually enjoy eachothers company and let them know that you do. You don't just leave without any care in the world.

I haven't been this lonely before. I have no idea why i'm like this. It's probably just a phase i am going through, getting used to knowing how the people i am around really are. I guess i just need a change.

It would be nice to have someone know me and understand me again, as well as the same from me to them. I guess that's just something hard to find in life. I don't think i'm going to be much of Miss Social for a while. I need to understand that i can have a break and eventually end up with those great friends that will always be there.

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 21:18:27 GMT

I have made a few decisions in the past few minutes. I no longer am going to hang out with many of the people that i have usually been hanging out with. A person today let me know how i really can't trust people. I don't want to be seen as a terrible person, because i'm not. I never do, and never have done, anything to intentionally hurt anyone. My recent past relationship has had many bad things said about it. Yes, the relationship ended badly, but the whole of it had many good memories and that is all i want said about it. I have said things about my ex out of anger and out of confusion, but i am moving on from that immaturity level and letting the past and present be what they are.

I can't help what has been said about me and what people choose to say now, but i can prevent anything else from being said. I think it's time to become the independent girl i have always wanted to be. I'm getting back into ballet (and lyrical) dancing once school starts again, getting into acting, and i will be driving. I have a small group of friends that will always be close to me. Though i may not be able to see them each as often as i see others, i will take the choice of sitting down watching movies with my sister or my neighbor, or even going to Denny's by myself to just read and drink coffee. Those situations are much more wonderful then being around fake people who come over just to hang out with someone. They are wonderful people, but at this time it is just way to difficult to be around them. There are way too many other things that i could be doing, and many more wonderful people that i can meet.

I hate this teenage crap. The rumors, the mean words, the back and fourth friendships, the evil x boyfriends and x girlfriends. It's bullshit and i can't wait to get away from it all. I am starting now. Everything is in it past and that's is where i want it to stay.

I hope someday i can find that best friend to share clothes with and sing our favorite songs with while driving down to the beach at sunset. And i will. I've already starting talking to someone in Simi who i have yet to meet very soon. She seems so wonderful. *She's my Winona Ryder and i'm her Victoria Beckham* And someday i will have that group of friends that can have a house party to the song of Eve 6 - Here's to the Night. Hey, cheesy i know, but it would be amazing, you know it would be.

I am a happy person, and i intend to stay that way.

********
Ps. Denny's and movies with Sarah and Maddie and Chelsea tonight. ♥

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 18:15:51 GMT

i have that feeling in my stomach. i haven't had it for a while. i should do something about it... but i don't want too.

i'm going to do something to my hair soon. this girl came into my work and inspired me to get my hair done. i'm thinking thick blonde chunks.

if it all works out sarah and i will be at my simi house tonight, the house to ourselves. we're going to go to denny's later on tonight because it's amazing and anyone else who wants to come with us call 208-6744.

i have four months left until i get my license.

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 02:46:19 GMT

okay so that last entry got deleted. i don't understand.

^^^ that is what i wore today. it's cute because that is my new shirt and i was excited.

mall today with maddie and rachel. brandyn came to visit beforehand and played with captain oliver. at the mall we got food right away, then went into sharper image where i found nothing that i could buy with 64 dollars except for this massager that looked like a big ol' vibrator and this squishy pillow. i think i'm going to have my mom take me in and help me buy that mini-fridge.

so we go into hot topic and i bought a shirt, then we go into sephora and i get maddie and i some eyeshadow and rachel gets her own, hehe. we're bad girls aren't we? haha i finally have the eyeshadow that i have wanted for 2 years.

we listening and sang to dashboard when we were driving home and rachel played with my kitty. i love those two girls so much, we had so much fun!

here is one picture of me from prom, yes i have many more but i don't feel like posting them since i am not alone in those pictures.

i almost got to see chris and brent today. =( i wore cute glasses in rachel's car. from melrose baby.

brattny705: i miss you too
brattny705: i watched sex and the city last night and ate chex and thought about you!
brattny705: i was like "man i wish natalie was here"
brattny705: and angel and sweety agreed

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 06:49:46 GMT

i walked home from work tonight. it was so wonderful outside, the perfect temperature and perfect amount of wind. i was thinking a lot and i realized how much i love taking walks by myself. but it does suck being interrupted in my thoughts when some douche-bag boyman decides to honk at me.

i've decided that i am going to have a 2 ounce wheat grass shot everytime i work. nothing else. those apple cinnamon pretzel's are going to screw me over.

i'm exausted. i get a break from work tomorrow which is a nice thing after 5 days working hours that i am just now getting used too. i'm going to see maddie tomorrow, i hope. today i wanted to just skip work, go to your house and crawl into bed with you. i think i will do that next week. and i will see brittny next week. oh i am excited.

i have been thinking about a certain thing lately. i really think that i am losing my interest in relationships with boys all together, not quite the attraction since that you cannot help, but the thought of being with a boy again. yes i have been bi for quite some time now but it seems to intensify everyday. i know this wonderful girl who i have yet to meet. her name is vivian, and our communication has been going on for a long time now and sooner or later you will see pictures of her and i on this journal. it feels like i do already know her, but she just moved away. she is such an amazing and real person. until then i will have to be patient. until then i have the most wonderful cuddle partner that i will ever need, and yes, he is a boy. so as of now, i'm sorry to any males, you are just outta luck with this girl.

NEW america's next top model starts in the fall. i am watching the re-runs of the first series every tuesday and i can't wait for the new season. they should have a mini-model one so i can try out :)

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 21:12:54 GMT

work:

today: 4pm-8pm
friday: 5pm-9pm
tues: 6pm-10pm

i have thursday off. i may be hanging out with either maddie or brandyn. damn it's a tough decision. then i've got the whole weekend off, and i need to find a sleepover buddy since my dad's leaving for the weekend starting saturday night. ~~any takers? i'm sure i'll find someone.~~ i found someone! sarah and i are gonna sneak over to my house in simi, telling our parents that we are sleeping over at eachothers houses, you know, that old trick, and we'll have a photo session and get our butts up and go to denny's. anyone wanna join us in the house to ourselves saturday night? ♥

so there are these really neat pictures that i want to post (meaning how they turned out with lighting). so i am going too. if you feel i post to many pictures of myself and my kitten, please do not click on the link. i really don't want to come off as vain, it's just i was excited to how long my hair is getting. lots of you have seen my hair at different lengths, so i gotta keep you updated :)

chrissie you gotta look at my dress. told ya i had one. twin day!

anyways, i think i'm getting back into some old habits.

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 22:49:14 GMT

last night i went over to sylvia's house. her, jessica, and i sat around the fire pit talking about bunches of things. i love those girls. we did get lied to at the end of the night which bummed me out. i really don't understand why people lie about stupid things. it's better to just tell the truth instead of getting caught in a lie two minutes after. whatever, i guess it really is just super hard to find good people that you can rely on to be your friends. watching sylvia and jessica and their friendship was the most precious thing that i've seen in a long time. someday i hope i can find a friendship that has a resemblence to theirs.

so i got my 20 hours for this week. i get 20 hours for this next week as well. not as much as i would like but it's a start. tomorrow i work 4-8. i can't remember the rest of the week. yesterday i was on blend and pour and i see this boy, standing on the other side of the counter, looking at me. i was like "ooo who's that cute boy smiling at me?" .. it turns out it was my old friend jared. haha i didn't recognize him and now i feel stupid for just looking at him for that minute i didn't know it was him.

oliver has a friend:
it's himself.

i almost cut my hair last night. but i controlled myself. there is a girl that i miss, her name is sarah and she's the cutest girl in the world. i'm not able to see her everyday and it upsets me. we're going to take many pictures next time, just like i am doing lately out of bordom and curiousity of what i look like these days. sarah, i adore you ♥

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 21:43:44 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
CHRIS FISHER
♥ ♥ ♥

work 3-7.

you always amaze me, but that's the past

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 09:04:37 GMT

so tonight i got home from work and brent, brandon and chris came to visit me. and my kitten. they are the best guys in the world:

psst. look at chris' snazzy jacket. ^^^ he's gonna find me a peacoat like..

Alright, time to be a photoholic girl and post my purchases:

and my new black sweater:

as you can see, i'm very happy to have my camera back.

work tomorrow: 10am - 5pm. come visit me. edit: 3 hours of sleep the other night. 3 1/2 last night. this sleeping business just isn't working for me.

attn: tonight is a good night. i love the feeling in the air. i read through entries on my friends list and everyone is so sincere and thoughtful these days with what they type, and what they want people to know. people can be so amazing sometimes. i'm here listening to the original underoath, in my new sweater, and just watching my kitten gallop across the room at random times. it's a great feeling. my window is open, my light is on and i just love that i am alone in my room right now. it can't get any better than this. i am glad that things have happened in my life how they have. everything happens for a reason. i have met wonderful and amazing people, and i have met people that will only be a memory of change and learning.

someday i will drive down that black canyon road again.

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 22:51:52 GMT

fuuuuck. livejournal is so frustrating. those entrires were perfect but they just both got deleted some how. well i'm just going to put the pictures together. all your comments from both entries were so cute, and now they are gone.

Meet Oliver:

Oliver sleeps in my headphones and plays with the things going across the computer screen, such as me typing, or the mouse moving around. Oliver is sleeping on my lap at this moment. He likes to sleep, and meow and look out the window when we drive around. I made a little bed for him outta my pink volcom shirt. Brandyn is his daddy. He bought him kitty litter and took him home with me.

Me:

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 02:10:00 GMT

i have a new kitten. his name is oliver and he's sleeping in front of me on my desk. getting the kitten this afternoon meant i got to see katrina. i missed her so much.

he is beautiful. almost small enough still to fit in my hand. he has his creamy beige coat and pink pads on his feet. he just put his head in my hand and fell asleep. oh i am in love. i will show you pictures as soon as i can.

brandyn and i woke up to an empty house. well, i said bye to a few people while he was still sleeping. we got changed and went to albertson's, jamba juice, and then to steal brittny away. us three went to regal and saw Dodgeball. it was pretty good, not as funny as people said it to be though, but i still liked it :)

tonight brittny is going to come over, i hope hope hope, after dance class. we are going to sit and watch movies and play with little oliver. brandyn is going to stop by later on to play with him too. i wish i could have made it to little rachel's party. but i am stuck here at my house with no ride anywhere. the mars volta is amazing.

sarah came by for a little while to watch me make a liter box. i think chris and brent are going to make it over here sometime to see oliver too. probably.

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 17:37:53 GMT

maddie was the first one to show up <3 then there were calls made to give directions. basically everyone was here around 10:30-11. some people i didn't know, new friends.

there were two groups of people which eventually merged around the early morning. one group watched eurotrip while the other just hung out. so much laughter and fucking around with bananas and penis's (the usual?). i loved being able to see old friends that i haven't seen in who knows how long: maddie, chelsea, jessica, jessie, hannah, rachel, renee. and brent and chris and brandon made the night 10x better, i love those guys.

brandyn, shurie, renee, and i went to denny's around 5:00 or so. i've now gone to denny's three days in a row. then we came home around 6 and brandyn and i went straight to sleep. (he's still sleeping, hehe). i'm getting a kitty today, katrina is bringing over a few that i get to choose from, i am so excited. brittny is coming over hopefully so we can play with the kitty all day and talk about endless things.

something happened last night and i'm not too sure what to think about it.

friday night - hanging out with jessy.

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 19:21:05 GMT

last night- brandyn and nik came and picked me up and we went over to rick's house. bijan, sarah, and lorenzo were there. the boys jammed for a little while, and natalie showed up a little later. bijan and i got taco bell. it was an awesome night, i haven't hung out with that crowd in a while, it was great. so entertaining. left right when either willy wonka or zoolander was about to start. had to get home though, around like 1 or so.

soo that means they are all coming here tonight. tonight's the starting night of having the house to myself, wanna come over? feel free to do so. i will be home during the day, cleaning my room, hopefully, so i'll have other people over earlier. like my dear maddie <3 and jared whom i miss so much! everyone's coming over around 10, so get your butt's over here.

brent and chris coming over, and brandon!. sarah coming too. watching eurotrip.

**seeing today/tonight: brandyn, lorenzo, bijan, nik, josh, natalie &her cousin shurie, sarah, chris, brent, sarah r., maddie, kevin, chelsea, renee, jessica, rachel nash, hannah, korina. we need more people.**

x. [Wallet] leopard change purse
x. [Hairbrush] black
x. [Toothbrush] green or electric.
x. [Jewelry worn daily] earrings. belly button ring.
x. [Blanket] big fuzzy leopard blanket, it's amazing.
x. [Coffee cup] which ever
x. [Sunglasses] dont have sunglasses
x. [Shoes] sandels or slip-on vans.
x. [Favorite shirt] my grey t-shirt, my pink volcom t-shirt, or my new little lingerie shirt.
x. [Favorite pants] dickies
x. [CD in stereo right now] the cure
x. [Tattoos] 0
x. [Body Piercings] 3
x. [What you are wearing now:] boy booty shorts - black t-shirt
x. [Hair] messy and up
x. [Do you like candles] yea
x. [Do you believe in love] not at the moment
x. [Do you believe in soul mates] dont know
x. [Do you believe in love at first sight] no, that's fuck at first site.
x. [What do you want done with your body when you die] whatever.
x. [What are you gonna do when you're older?] move to france, work with fashion design, be a showgirl, fall in love, get married, live in new york for part of my life, work with animals.
x. [How many songs do you have on your computer?] none, there's no sound yet.
x. [What band are you listening to now?] the cure - their new cd.
x. [Look out your window...tell me what you see] a street
x. [If you could have any animal for a pet?] i have my kitty and dog. <3
x. [What is the longest you've ever stayed up?] 4 days

[When was the last time you ... ]

x. [Smiled?] this morning
x. [Laughed?] last night
x. [Cried?] 2 days ago?
x. [Bought] food
x. [Danced?] last night
x. [Were sarcastic?] dunno
x. [Had a nightmare?] a week ago
x. [Last book you read] wasted, i need new books.
x. [Last movie you saw] jurassic park
x. [Last thing you had to drink?] water
x. [Last thing you had to eat] taco bell

[ Body ]

x. [What do you most like about your body?] eyes or hair sometimes.
x. [And least?] body
x. [How many fillings do you have?] 2
x. [Do you think you're good looking?] sometimes
x. [Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?] yes
x. [Do you look like any celebrities?] victoria beckham

[ Fashion ]
x. [Do you wear a watch?] no
x. [How many coats and jackets do you own?] like 4
x. [Favorite pants color?] black
x. [Most expensive item of clothing?] bebe, guess?
x. [Describe your style in one word] weird

[ Your Friends ]

x. [do your friends know you?] yea
x. [Are there traits in you that are universally liked?] yeah
x. [How many people do you tell everything to?] none, i haven't had a friend like that in about 12 months now.

Music/TV/Books ]

x. [Favorite band ever?] underoath
x. [Most listened to bands?] the cure, underoath, yeah yeah yeah's, gravy train!!!, in stereo, black heart procession
x. [Do you find any musicians good-looking?] Ville Valo, Daniel Johns
x. [Type of music most listened to?] electric
x. [Favorite book?] wasted

[ General Questions ]

x. [What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?] rainy
x. [Do you consider yourself lucky?] yes, i did find $100 on the ground.
x. [Choose one word to describe how you feel most often] stressed
x. [Do you own any plaid clothing?] no
x. [Is there more than one zipper in your pants?] no
x. [Do you own braces?] no
x. [Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?] when i wake up
x. [Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?] no
x. [Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?] loreal
x. [Do you own a bandanna?] a few
x. [Are you amused by safety pins] no
x. [Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?] no

[Habits/beliefs ]

x. [Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything)?] not often
x. [Are you an anarchist?] no
x. [Are you vegan/vegetarian?] yea
x. [Do you think meat is murder?] yea
x. [Have you ever slept in an alley or park?] no
x. [Do you wash your hair less than once a week?] no
x. [Have you ever gone a week without a shower?] no, i'm a clean girl.

x. [Age] 16
x. [Birthday] august 19
x. [Sign] leo
x. [Location] simi valley
x. [Status] single
x. [Crush] maybe
x. [Natural hair color] dark brown
x. [Current hair color] black, dark brown, and remains of blonde
x. [Eye color] green
x. [Height] 5'3"
x. [Shoe size] 6
x. [Parents] 2
x. [Siblings] 1
x. [Live with] mom-sister. dad-sister. it depends.

[favorites]

x. [Number] 7
x. [Color] black
x. [Day] 16th's
x. [Movie] haggard, the royal tennenbaum
x. [Food] mexican
x. [Season] fall/winter
x. [Class] im not in school right now, but if i was, chemistry
x. [Drink] water
x. [Veggie] spinach
x. [TV Show] family guy, simpsons, americas next top model
x. [Radio] ...
x. [Store] thrift stores
x. [Word] neato
x. [Animal] kittys
x. [Flower] white rose

[this or that]

x. [Me/You] you
x. [Coke/Pepsi] neither, i don't drink soda.
x. [Day/night] night
x. [CD/cassette] cd
x. [DVD/VHS] dvd
x. [Jeans/khakis] jeans
x. [Car/truck] car

long in the pants, short in the weiner

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 21:56:41 GMT

brandyn and i watched a movie last night. we couldn't get the sound on my computer to work. we will though. i went to sleep around 2.

my foot is asleep. i got jamba juice today from the new one in simi, i haven't tried this flavor before even though yes i do work there, but it made me sick.

i walked into the coffee bean and an old livejournal friend works there. i knew that i recognized her. she thought i was sara mohr when i walked in and almost wanted to kick me out. after i left she found out that i was josh's girlfriends sister. i didn't find out it was really her until we left. damnit.

question: did you know i like girls?

why you always gotta be hella flashin on me girl.
always gotta be hella archin your little back
and workin your little ass girl

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 09:00:23 GMT

he bites.

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:46:31 GMT

chris, brent and sarah were over earlier. watched part of the nightmare before christmas. went to denny's. watched showgirls. those guys, and the adorable girl, are awesome. i love hanging out with them.

went to nathan's.

got my belly button peirced, a ring this time, no more bars. i missed having it peirced. it hurt like a bitch since it was through scar tissue. fuck. but i loved it. and i got my ears peirced, i can't really explain where on my ears other than it's the cartalidge (sp) but nearer to my head. it's awesome. i'll post pictures once i get my camera back. getting peirced when you're stressed out definatly helps, i think that may turn into a bad thing. here are some camera phone pictures, haha. don't know how well you can see them.

brandyn's back over. movie night. this is what i was waiting for. <3

so my birthday's coming up. i asked my mommy for a special present that will help me out with going dancing with my of-age friends. she's definatly considering it.

who knows what will happen tonight. probably have some friends over. i was supposed to work today, but merissa showed me the wrong schedule and yeah i got screwed with that. but i called in and made sure it was alright and found out if there were anymore unknown times that i had to work. but nope, no work until saturday.

thursday night and friday night my sister and i get the house to ourselves. come over and party. my mom's trusting me again.

annd here are the new posters on my walls.

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 16:33:53 GMT

you took me over the edge
and left me there to fall by myself
the word love meant nothing to you
i was taken in with your lies
and you knew i was too weak to leave
but you were wrong
you mean nothing to me now
every time you think of me
i hope your heart dies
i will find my true love
and you now burn beneath my feet
you'll pay for everything you've done
if you could die
i'd be the one with the gun
from this day on i'll write the songs you hate
and pray the prayers that drive you away
it's time to let the world know how
you tried to ruin my life
up burn my thoughts of him
the virus leaves me

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 05:28:24 GMT

sooo, i'm home now.

went to the fireworks tonight, wow they were amazing. it was so much fun. went to jamba to pick up my pay checks and get my hours for next week, saw merissa and her and i went to the fireworks. met up with ashley, melissa and katie and had such a fun time. i lost brittny and i couldn't find her again though. it was so great seeing everyone, i felt sooo welcomed home. the first night i'm back and it was already amazing.

my cousins are amazing, i don't know how i will go everyday without seeing them. i miss you julie, you are so precious. and i will miss bobby so much. everyone was asking about that boy. i told them how amazing he was. i hope he can come out sometime like we both want.

the girls were raving in the car on the way home, haha. and i saw my friend jared while we were waiting in traffic. i miss him. jared if you are ever on this livejournal business, you better be calling me soon.

i'm getting a cell phone soon. i'll give out the number when i get it.

2 days

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 05:47:24 GMT

went to the mall. got 50 bucks. rob and dave's house with julie and lauren, derek came over too. ate dinner, watched the simpson's and that 70s show. came home with them and watched sleepers, great movie. i laughed so much tonight.

tomorrow will be wonderful.

all day with bobby. going mini golfing at noon, with julie and lauren. coming home, watching haggard. then going to the fair during the night with bobby. he's going to go on the farriswheel with me. <3

it's going to be hard going home.

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

4 days

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 23:57:17 GMT

my family and i just watched the video from the family party. wow, that was a great night. we laughed so much watching what everyone did while they were video taped, especially the older people dancing. they all asked what was up with me and bobby always together, haha. he was a great dancer, my partner for all the slow songs. he's taking me mini golfing on thursday.

i really wouldn't mind staying longer, things are so wonderful here with my family, it's so much fun. i guess it will be nice to get home though. i just hope i can meet new people as wonderful as the people i have met here. i know i will be meeting a lot of new people this summer, maybe they'll surprise me.

tomorrow it's a night with julie, lauren, and the guys. and possibly the brockton fair thursday night or friday. then it's time to plan going home, with the most amazing pizzas in a suitcase, i can't forget those. there are a few people who i'm already bringing it home for.

i can't wait to see a certain amount of people. brandyn, maddie, chelsea, jessica, brittny, sarah, karla, sylvia c, jessy, cat, sylvia (the younger one, haha), elaine, merissa, shawn, jeremy, dominic, thomas, nik, co-workers and many new friends that i have yet to meet.

okkkk goodnight.

5 days

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 18:12:57 GMT

boys who like girls who do boys like their girls

oh that girl is so so precious. i can't wait to get home for that reason. i love sylvia's <3

there are many things to do this week, like hanging out with everyone before saturday comes around. there is a really nice boy here that i would like to take home with me. that won't happen. maybe i could kiss him before i leave. haha

i miss this girl !!!

and i miss this boy <3

who wants to hang out when i get home ?!?!

*** edit *** holy shit, i just found the most amazing looking boy on myspace. it's crazy, i have not yet found someone so good looking, until today. but fuck, he lives in colorado.

her illusions: haha i will seriously move to colorado just to see that boy!
sylvia the omen: haha
sylvia the omen: ill go with you to see his friend
sylvia the omen: !
her illusions: exactly! damnit, rode trip!***

6 days

Sun, 27 Jun 2004 23:26:17 GMT

coming home is going to be difficult.

things are great here and i do want to go home, i just don't know how i am going to handle it when i do. i hoped in someone who let me down for no reason. i give people too much credit and i care too much and i never give up, it's too bad that it is a problem now. distance and time really mess people up when they are apart.

i bought the gravy train cd today, haha. fuckin awesome.

lots of things to get done when i get home, that's what i have to look forward too. and seeing many people that make being two thousand miles away from home easier. even this far away i still am stressed out like no other. i swear, i'll die a young age because of this shit.

**** thank you brandyn. talking to you made things feel 10x better. thank you for making me smile once again ****

1 week / 5 days

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 09:36:58 GMT

last night i didn't go to sleep.

watching punch drunk love and the royal tennenbaum last night.
then daylight and edward sissorhands this morning.

today consists of six flags with tons of people going in all the cars. i'll be driving with bobby and my sister and cousin and friend christina.

i hope it cheers me up from how i have been feeling lately. i miss home. not too much longer, time is going by fast, but at the same time i'm scared of going home to everything again. i don't know what to expect.

please don't shut me down, baby.

2 weeks / 0 days

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 01:39:31 GMT

i hate liars. and i hate sluts.

i get to talk on the phone tonight. free calls to california from my nana's house. whatever, maybe i won't make any calls.

venus as a boy

twurrrk

twurrrk

twurrrk

don't assume this is about you...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS FISHER♥ ♥ ♥

you always amaze me, but that's the past

long in the pants, short in the weiner

2 days

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1 week / 5 days

2 weeks / 0 days

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
CHRIS FISHER
♥ ♥ ♥